Before moving to NYC, the top two concerns others would voice upon hearing my plan of relocation were: 1. the excruciating winter, and 2. that I was going alone.
With 50 degree days on the horizon, I can almost say I officially survived winter. The snow day and Instagram almost made the heart-breaking chill worth it. I am officially praying for Spring. Now onto the lonesome wolf topic.
First of all, I met two amazing girls online that I moved in with when I first got to the city. While I no longer live with them, they remain two of my favorites in NYC and have each introduced me to a number of their friends! I'm a lucky girl.
Kait and Christy
But I have to be honest. I had to completely change my mindset of friend-making when I landed at JFK. Wandering around with my arms wide open to friendships was far from my comfort zone. Because I have had a number of my best friends for two decades (at 22 years old), the prospect of meeting someone random on the street and securing a deep friendship with them seemed a bit odd. But nevertheless, my frame of mind was forced to change when I changed locations.
So I want to share two particular stories of befriending, a success and a not-so-much:
When I had lived in New York City about a month, after brunching at The Standard, a couple of visiting friends and I wandered into a store in the Meatpacking District. We left an hour later discussing how the awesome sales associate was destined to be my new friend (I really wanted friends). While I put in due-effort to become besties with her, nothing ever manifested. The point is, I was essentially rejected by a sales associate I was attempting to befriend.
Shortly after I had first wandered into that store, I was scouring the internet for restaurants (there are SO many amazing places in New York City, it actually makes choosing quite the challenge). I randomly happened upon a blog. After reading through this girl Gracie’s extensive list of recommendations, I came across a post inviting her readers to an event featuring Sarah Dubbeldam of Darling Magazine. I once spent a summer interning for a photographer who shot for Darling; I adore the aesthetic of the magazine and even more so, the stance it has taken to change the perception of femininity in our culture. Anyway, I thought, 1. how ironic, 2. that sounds like the perfect place to make friends, and 3. what do I have to lose? I’ll email her.
Gracie and I met at the event, and proceeded to become friends over the next few months. She is now one of my dearest friends in the city, and has introduced me to so many wonderful people! While in California I would not have likely reached out to someone through the internet for friendship, moving across the country alone will start to alter your idea of how to acceptably make friends.
This is what I have come to realize seeking friends in New York City: the kind of people you want to be friends with are always open to making and having more friends. So if you’re afraid of taking the plunge of moving ANYWHERE for this reason, please do not let the fear of leaving your comfort zone of how to make friends hold you back.
Of course it is intimidating, but now I could not imagine my life without these amazing new friends.
If you're in New York City and looking for a friend, shoot me an email. I love new friends.